Buckets aren’t for kicking!

bucket-list-goalsToday the sun is shining brightly and I’d like to take a long walk with my doggie. Then, I’m gonna pull some weeds. But, before I go out, I have a thought to share.

It smacked me in the face today. Yes, it’s been creeping up for some time. But, for some reason, I sat down to check on my online support group, and smack! This is the year. It may sound unlucky, with a 13 in it and all. But, this is the golden year! When I was told in late 2008 that my condition was terminal, I set my sights on THIS year. I have readjusted since, and added to my “to do” list, but THIS is the year that was my first goal. It has made me take a deep breath, heat up my cup of coffee (ugghh…so much for “so long joe”!), and bask in this sunny moment of realization.

Since September of 2008, I have helped teach two more of my four-pack how to drive. Check and check. I have seen two high school graduations. Check and check. I have moved two boys off to college. Check and check. I have helped guide one child into his own business (ok, mostly he’s done this on his own. But, I WAS the first to sit him down at a sewing machine! Against all odds, my SON has picked up on that passion!). Nonetheless, check! I have guided (?) three kids through their first and second loves. (Ok, I really just provided rides to soccer games and cinemas, and a few words of advice, not many…) Check, check, check. I have been here when my second daughter began her period (don’t tell her I mentioned this!) Check. I have done hundreds of loads of laundry, cooked many a meal, driven thousands of miles with and for these four kids and my husband. Check, check, check. I made it to our 25th wedding anniversary. Check.

Since September of 2008, I’ve had the pleasure of visiting New Hampshire, California, Washington, Washington DC, Colorado, New Mexico, Illinois, New York, South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana, Florida, Texas, North Carolina, South Carolina, Rhode Island, Mexico, Grand Cayman, Jamaica, Turks & Caicos, Italy and Croatia. I have raised my standing from princess to queen, for sure!!! Thank God for the AmEx frequent flyer program for making all that travel possible! (smooches John!)

I have spent plenty of hours resting on my laurels. I am not a person who needs to accomplish much in a day to feel “accomplished”. I don’t know if this is a good trait, I just know it is one of my traits. I have reflected on what I want to leave my kids with…both attitudinally and concretely. I have pondered how the household will run with John at the helm. I have thought about how my exit will go. I’ve considered what songs should be at my funeral. I wonder who will take care of my dog. And will I die before that blasted goldfish that’s already 10?

I have been abundantly blessed with the gift of time! True, I was young at diagnosis. A death now would be considered untimely, though I’ve been witness to much more untimely deaths than my own may be. But, not everyone who is told that she is incurable gets five years (or more?) to grasp the whole idea. As you have noticed, I’ve gone through a decent part of my bucket list. That list keeps growing, though! I have, at times, felt dreadfully sorry for myself. But, that’s such a waste of time, really. My plan is to keep planning. There’s a big world to see! My baby is still only 13. I have a lot of check marks yet to go.

Don’t forget to make the list….

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About nancy5vic

40-something year old cancer goddess (hah...make that 50-something now!!) raising four children and one husband. Diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2008. Love to travel, cook, bake and spend time with my kids and friends. My perfect day always starts with breakfast out...especially fantastic if I'm with John.
This entry was posted in breast cancer, cancer, family life update, health update, healthy outlook, metastatic, nancy ferrato, survivor, weather and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

9 Responses to Buckets aren’t for kicking!

  1. yelodoggie says:

    You are amazing. I love you and I am so happy we’re family.

  2. Kenneth Vicarel says:

    I still think you should consider headline writing as a second career. Hard to believe it has been almost five years. And, you travel way too much.óBro. Ken

  3. JOHN FERRATO says:

    for the record you missed Puerto Rico and France…and PA, and didnt we go to Lake Tahoe in last five years…ie…Nevada…and maybe Colorado , Texas…?

  4. nancy5vic says:

    Ok, I said Colorado and Texas. I did forget Nevada, because, really, we stayed in CA. I did forget France. Puerto Rico was pre-diagnosis, though. Sheesh! Ken’s right!

    As for the headlines…the only real publication I ever worked on was my HS yearbook. I was the go-to for headlines. However, while we won a first place for that year, the judges noted that too many of the headlines were “cutesy”. hmmpphhh, thought they were clever…

    Back atcha yelodoggie!!!

  5. yelodoggie says:

    I took a page from your playbook today and went out and flew a kite.

  6. Joy Pizzoferrato says:

    I wish you many more “high fives” with completed events and growing additions.

  7. Annmarie Keogh says:

    Wow honey! You’ve been so many places! God Bless! And, what a blessing you are to everyone who has had the honor of sharing your journey! If only we had been able to live in the house we bought in SL, I have a feeling we’d be bff’s! I have a very strong feeling that you have years, and years, and years, ahead! You are far from the finish dear one!

    Hugs,
    Annmarie

  8. Alice Bedell says:

    Nancy, as always, I love your writing. Congratulations!! I have been blessed to share much of the journey with you. Thank you for all the laughter, tears, and great advise. I have tailored my own eating habits based on your example. Heck, even tonight as I write, kale chips are finishing in the oven. Who would have thunk it a few years ago????
    Love ya, Alice

  9. Patty Bruch says:

    I am love reading your logs, when I am having a hard day you bring me right back to a ” better place”. You have been so inspirational to me with my own “minimal” health issues….i am so grateful to have the Ferrato clan as friends …, Heather is a lucky young lady and she loves each and everyone of you,as I know you all feel the same towards her. I am so happy that you got such great results back from last scan. Hope to se you again maybe next month when ken and heather come into town .., love ,,, Patty

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