Gloom without doom

It is about 47 degrees outside, and raining.  That cold, bone-chilling kind of rain.  And, as I was out and about, I began to think…as I do nearly everyday…I might not be here for this next year.  Of course, we should all consider this.  But, my guess is that you have not had that thought today…perhaps you have never had that thought at all.  I thought about all the people that would wish away this bone-chilling day.  Well, not me!  Sure, the colorful glory of Autumn is gone.  The quiet, peaceful, beauty of Winter is not yet here.  Sure, we are stuck in seasonal purgatory…just waiting and hoping the weather changes soon.  We live in Ohio, change is the only constant that we know.  But, as I look at the bare trees, I can only think of one thing.  They are bald!  Two years ago, so was I.

So, there they stand, those bald trees.  Some stand alone, but most are in a group.  And the similes and metaphors are just all around me, filling my head.  They’ve lost their most notable attribute, their leaves, but they stand tall.  They still reach for the sky.  They still know their inner strength.  They’ll be standing when the wind howls and the snow blows.  They won’t move as the snow builds up past their ankles towards their low branches.  Those trees know what to do to conserve all their strength for another grand showing in the spring.  And, like us, just a bit of change in their surroundings, and their sap flows freely.  I was born with a lot of sap!!!  Those chemo trees are an inspiration.

The day, for me, was spent Christmas shopping.  One of my very favorite sports.  And, I did it with panache today!  With a spring in my step, and hair on my head.  I was freshly showered, donned a pretty scarf, had on my nicer jeans…big day!  I was even very friendly with the not-so-patient bank teller.  Heading home, I was reminded of a day I spent with my dad about 28 years ago.  We only had one car at the time, and dad was retired, so he decided to drive me to an interview with Ameritrust Bank in downtown Cleveland.  The whole way up he was wondering why I, a marketing major, was interviewing with a bank.  Well, read the paper, watch TV,  banks do LOTS of marketing.  But, I wasn’t so sure why I was going either.  Dad walked me into the lobby, then lit a cigar and plopped in a chair in the large lobby.  I scurried off to my interview.  As I came back into the lobby, I was beaming.  I had been invited to a second interview.  Dad took me out to lunch.  We always celebrated with food!  During lunch he started humming the Mary Tyler Moore tune and said to me, “that’s you”.  “You can take a nothing day and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile”.  Isn’t that beautiful???  My dad said that to me!  And, when it’s cold and gloomy out, I think…how can I make it all seem worthwhile?

I may or may not ever see another November 16, just like you.  But, those chemo trees reminded me…rain or shine…carpe diem!


About nancy5vic

40-something year old cancer goddess (hah...make that 50-something now!!) raising four children and one husband. Diagnosed with metastatic breast cancer in 2008. Love to travel, cook, bake and spend time with my kids and friends. My perfect day always starts with breakfast out...especially fantastic if I'm with John.
This entry was posted in cancer, family life update. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Gloom without doom

  1. Annmarie Keogh says:

    Just beautiful dear!

  2. Karen Leppo says:

    What a beautiful post! Now I’ve got the Mary Tyler Moore song going around my head! Thanks for your insight on the rainy day. The weather made me make a big pot of soup and snuggle down at home hoping everyone got home safely. (Andy now has his license…….)

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s