So Long, Joe

Oh, Joe, I’ve known you for so long…

It’s difficult to say goodbye now

When I was young, you were perky

Now, you’re just a drip

I know, sometimes people push your buttons…

But still, man, I love the smell of you

Your warmth

If you sit around too long and overheat, you get bitter

Me too

Some people are telling me that our relationship is no good

Ah, you’re not good for me!

If we spend too much time together, I get the shakes

But then I just want you more

I’m going to try to be strong

Many people lose relationships they love

I’ll try to walk away…

Perhaps I’ll spend some time with your cousin

Dee Caff

The Milky Way

“Sustaining controversy as a means of discrediting findings that cause economic or social discomfort is one of the greatest sins in science”

Read that again.  Again.  Do you get it?  It’s so true.  So simple.  A person, a special interest group, a union, a government, should not try to discredit reliable scientific findings because the results of the findings make us uncomfortable in some way.  Or because the findings do not necessarily make an aforementioned group more profitable.  Get it?  If not, email me.  I am screaming from the top of my bandwagon today.  I so wish you’d join me.  This issue pushes my buttons and may roll my car to Washington…or Wisconsin…some day.  What issue, you ask…”Milk, it does a body good”.  We’ve been duped…

So, rewind to 2008, I wouldn’t be surprised if I consumed more dairy than each of you.  Loved milk…in a glass, hot or cold, with cereal, with cookies, with PB&J.  Like Dr. Seuss, I would drink it “here or there,”  Yes, I would drink in anywhere!  Because it tasted good, because it had calcium, because it was a low cal source of protein, because cows were cute…I didn’t need a good reason, I slurped it up.  And, cheese  ”Cheese marvelous cheese” so scrumptious.  Then, The News.  Breast cancer…stage 4, no cure just a lifetime of treatments.  And, by the way, your lifetime will be cut way back.  SCREAM!!!   PANIC!!!!   EDUCATE!!!  CHANGE!!!! in that exact order, of course.

After seeking the advice of a well regarded nutrionist (remember Doctors are lucky to have a course or two on the topic), I was taken off milk.  If she were me, this nutrionist would use cream for her coffee, period.  No milk.  No cheese.  But, why?

I’ve told y’all to quit it.  Don’t make your kids have milk with supper.  Give them water.  But, still, you resist.  Because I wasn’t giving you all the info you wanted.  Or perhaps you don’t want it.  I hope you’re not of the notion that ignorance is bliss.  Cuz, really, ignorance, when avoidable, is stupid.  Anyhow, I’ve taken some time and done some reading, and now I’ll share.  Now you’ll have the info and can choose accordingly.

“Americans consume more cow’s milk and its products per person than most populations in the world…American women aged fifty and older have one of the highest rates of hip fractures in the world” as stated in The China Study.   The body doesn’t like the acidic load that this animal protein places on it.  ”In order to neutralize the acid, the body uses calcium, which acts as a very effective base….It ends up being pulled from the bones, and the calcium loss weakens them, putting them at greater risk for fracture.”  And, as you might guess, animal protein increases the metabolic acid load more than plant protein.  Dang, the stuff I was drinking to increase my calcium has actually been leeching calcium from my bones.  Just like coffee.  I’d rather have the coffee..

Basically, you must remember that your gorgeous bod is a machine.  To function at peak performance, it maintains a certain level of alkalinity.  It will do this on its own regardless of the fuel you provide.  As you may have guessed, though, it prefers that you don’t make it do the math.  Most of us don’t enjoy the math.  (I’m weird, I love it…but that’s just one of my ailments!)  So, if your food is more alkaline than acid, your body smiles.  What is alkaline?  Things you can eat raw, even if you cook them, for starters.  You got it, fruits and veggies.  Yes, even “acidic” fruits become alkaline in our bloodstream.  Moderately acidifying are whole grains and rice, both white and brown.  Very acidifying are all meats and dairy, whole wheat and white carbs.  Sadly, I must report that soy milk and almond milk are acidifying, too.  I cannot find info on coconut milk or hemp as far as acidity is concerned.  Clearly, we are going to eat acidic food.  Period.  We are and we know it.  The goal should be to greatly tip the scale in alkalinity’s favor.  Ex:  Stir fry a boat load of veggies with 1/2 a chicken breast and serve over 1/4 cup rice.  Better yet, skip the chicken.  It’s a process.  It takes practice.  But, consider the consequences.  Consider them every time you open your mouth!

Back to bovine breast milk.  Can I just say, “ew”.  Why is it so socially acceptable to drink the milk of another animal?  I suppose because it’s available.  But, even a baby cow doesn’t consume its mother’s milk for as long as we do.  Geez, we don’t consume our own mother’s milk as long as we’re willing to consume a cow’s milk.  I dunno, I never thought much about it BC (before cancer, of course), but now it just seems so weird to me.

There have been very valid tests done that have linked the early consumption of cow’s milk to both type 1 diabetes and MS.  It is a very complicated process, but basically, some people cannot break down the protein in milk and its fragments happen to look like pancreatic cells.   So, our immune systems attack these milk fragments and then go on to attack healthy pancreatic cells as well.  This impairs little pancreases and increases a person’s risk for type 1 diabetes.  Simple solution?  Feed infants human milk.  In MS, along with genetic links, which account for about 25% of disease incident, there is a correlation between saturated fat and the disease.  The saturated fat is from all animal protein.

It is estimated that about 75% of adults in the U.S. become lactose intolerant.  Apparently most of us are ill-equipped to handle milk sugar forever.

Cows milk contains a growth hormone, IGF-1 (insulin growth factor).  Sportsters may have heard of it as I have read that it helps shed fat and bulk muscle.  Well, for those of us with breast cancer, it is a danger.  Along with promoted cancer cell growth, it is even trickier.  It inhibits apotosis (cell death) even in cancer cells that have been exposed to chemotherapy.  Yikes!

Ok, we gotta eat stuff.  We can’t eat only broccoli and brussel sprouts.  But, we can make good, conscious choices.  And, when we are confronted with science that contradicts marketing, we can spread the word.   Sure, milk fills you up.  To many, it tastes good.  If you give up meat, it might not really harm you.  But, consider its source…

Purified water, it does a body good!

Coming Out of the Dark

Yesterday I was about to take Cooper for his after dinner stroll.  It was 5:45.  I looked out the window, and, lo and behold…it wan’t pitch black!!!!  Yippeee, the dark days of winter are behind us, or 11 months ahead of us, however you want to look at it.  Either way, we are coming out of the dark.  And so, you know me, my head dreams up metaphors.

This past holiday season was so easy.  We didn’t take a trip, which we’ve done the past three years.  The kids picked out a white pine Christmas tree.  These trees are fluffy and soft, but not really meant for ornaments.  So, we gave in.  We put on lights and some baubbly garland and called it good.  It was beautiful in a different way.  I left some decorations in their boxes and never missed seeing them out.  Probably took me less than two hours to decorate and just a little more to put things away.  Easy.  Yes, we entertained at our house one day…my side of the family.  But, we had soup and pizza.  Easy.  Still, each holiday, there’s a thin sheet over my own happiness.  It isn’t that I’m not a kid anymore and Christmas has lost its magic.  It isn’t that I don’t have wee children anymore counting on me to make the magic.  It isn’t, in fact, that Christmas itself isn’t truly magical.  It is, it seems, that there is always a worry.  This year, my scan was scheduled for January 3rd.  Way too close to the holiday season.  It was just too difficult to smile and say, “I’m fine…scans are clear” when the scans were from July.  It was too difficult to really enjoy those cookies thinking that maybe there were tumors they were feeding.

But, now the scans are behind me.  Yes, I needed a CT and then a PET.  That was only because I’ll never have another CT and they needed to be able to get a “baseline” PET when the CT showed stability.  I’ve developed an iodine allergy and so cannot receive the dye needed for a good contrast CT.  Just a reminder that each of these tests comes with a price beyond cash.  But, they’re behind me for now.  Next one isn’t even scheduled.  Yes, like winter, I’ve now come out of the dark.

For a few months now, my steps will be lighter.  My head will seem clearer.  I can think about Maria turning 13,  Anna 16,  Jake 21,  and my marriage 25!  What a year!  I have trips to warm places planned.  I hope to plan more

I hope to get my dog some training.  Plant more berry bushes.  Clean all the clothes from the 90s out of my closets.  Sort through some of the towels and sheets we’ve had for 25 years.  (thanks to you all for such lasting wedding gifts!)  I plan to finish the book “An Everlasting Meal” and learn to apply some of its ideas.  (don’t throw away the tops or bottoms of veggies you’ve steamed or eaten raw, save them to make vegetable broth…etc).  I hope to get a counter top compost thingy.  Replace some carpet.  My head is out of the dark!

And, while I’ve got you thinking about clearing your own cobwebs, can I ask one simple thing?  When you see a friend…maybe me…that has a “condition”, please don’t ask them how they feel right off the bat.  Who wants to hear that?  The only time that was a welcome question to me was when I was nine months pregnant.  Simply, “hey, what’s new?” or the usual “how are you?” opens the door for someone to update you if they choose to.  But, sometimes, all we want is to say hello to you in the grocery store.  Do you really want to know how I’m feeling?  Perfectly healthy!  Better than I’ve felt in years!  Nervous as hell that the next time I see the oncologist, she is gonna feel something!  Totally angry that I keep gaining weight!  There.  Out of the dark with that.  For now, just let me be your friend.  Not your friend with cancer.  I’ll let you know when I need help.  Thanks!

So, the birds are singing…I even had flies in my yard yesterday.  But, it isn’t spring yet.  We still have snow and cold ahead of us.  Isn’t it a bit easier to enjoy when the days are a tad longer?  When the sunshine pokes through the clouds?  It really is a relief to come out of the dark…

Well, I stole the line from Gloria Estefan, so I feel obligated to link you, should you be interested….

Just remember

I’d prefer you remember that each of you was loved and wanted before you were even born and not try to figure out who “my favorite” is.  (I love each of you immensely!)

I’d prefer you remember that I married the man who made me feel the best about myself and not remember that I kissed lips that weren’t yours ( Your lips always were the softest and the sweetest)

I prefer you remember the long summer days playing cards, the bike rides to play tennis, “camping out” together in the porch, endless hours “hopelessly devoted” to each other and not anytime I  may have ditched you, lied to you, or done some other teenage mean girl thing.  (and I’m sorry for all the off-key singing!)

I prefer you remember that I allowed you to spend half your summer days in the sandbox or the sprinkler and not that our kitchen linoleum got ruined.  (always wanted that wood floor anyway!)

I prefer you to remember that your friends were welcome in our house and not that I didn’t spend enough time teaching you how to “keep up a house”.  (all the cleaning ladies in the world will rejoice that you need them so badly!)

I prefer you remember that I love to travel and not feel like I was unhappy at home.

I prefer that you understand that my relationships with all sorts of people were always more important than decorating/cleaning the  house.

I prefer that you understand that I just want to cuddle and spoil those little mutts and not that I had to drop out of obedience class because I was “too soft”.

I prefer you remember that I love to bake from scratch rather than use a boxed mix, that I’d rather cook a yummy meal without anything coming from a package, and not that I often left the dishes until the next morning.

I’d prefer you remember that I really care what you have to say and not that I asked you the same question three times in an hour.  (oops, a good song must have come on the radio!)

I’d prefer you remember that I’m a woman full of faith and hope and not that I sometimes miss mass or disagree with the Catholic church’s teachings.

Mostly, I’d prefer you just remember….

Can You Tell By Looking?

Can you tell by looking at me…

That I’m 47 years old?

That I have 2 sons and 2 daughters?

That I’ve been married nearly 24 years?

That I have a severe addiction to coffee?

And another one to dark chocolate?

That I hate to wake up early?

That I can fill a beautiful kitchen table with stacks of various papers in just one day?

That I have lived most of my life in the same county?

That breakfast is my favorite meal?

That I love down comforters?

That my down comforter gives me hot flashes?

That I sing out loud while I clean the kitchen?

That I swear too much?

That I find church to be relaxing and yes, even interesting?

That I think South Park is pretty clever and funny?

That I STILL love big-haired ’80s rock bands?

That if you asked me today, my favorite singer would be Jason Mraz?

That if you ask me next month, the answer could be different?

That I love to travel?

That I enjoy taking pictures?

That I hate to carry cameras?

That I have never been seperated from any of my kids for a week…until they left for college?

That I walk on the bike trail every day?

That I have a soft spot for little black dogs?

That I hate my first name?

That my feet are flat?

That my boobs are real?

That my hair is real?

That I have cancer?

That it’s been a year since I found out there are no active tumors inside me?

That I believe this happened because you prayed for me?

Falling for Autumn

I’m sitting at Starbucks soaking up vitamin D on an outstandingly beautiful autumn day.  It’s 77 degrees, the sky is blue and the trees are all sorts of colors now.  Last year, I posted about how the bare trees reminded me of people on chemo….their strength in harsh conditions, etc.  This year I find myself relating the trees yearly cycle to our lives.  Feeling philosophical today, too?  Then, read on…

Before we are born, we grow quietly in a very controlled environment, conserving most of our energy for what is to come.  A tree stands in the winter, waiting, feeling the potential for new life within itself.  But the season isn’t right.  Then the days become warmer, the sap begins to rise.  A baby is born.  A bud emerges.  We coo over the new baby.  It is sheer perfection…nature at its best.  We ooohhh and awe over the newly sprung blossoms.  Every year they seem more lovely than the last.  We watch a baby quickly go from all fours to being a biped.   We note how each day is different…little people grow into big people so quickly!  A tree loses its precious blossoms all too quickly.  And then its leaves emerge.  For a few weeks, every day the tree looks different.  It is morphing into an all-green adult.  But, first we notice that new shade of green.  It is vibrant.  So pleasing to us.  A young adult, these spring-green trees.  Green, just like our young adults.  Not yet “seasoned”.  Learning how to cope in the hot days, the cold nights.  Learning how to handle birds on its branches, squirrels climbing all over it.  Learning to hunker down in the spring thunderstorms.  And those adolescent thunderstorms can be mighty!  Then, a funny thing happens.  Suddenly, it is difficult to distinguish one oak tree from another.  It no longer looks different every day.  Its leaves are large and sturdy.  It is a darker green.  A green that has more experience.  It is an adult now.  And so many adults are just trying hard to have the same things.  A job.  A house.  People to share life with.  We care for our children, our partners, our bosses, our houses, our yards.  Sometimes we forget to be daring…we are strong and steady.  Strong and steady.  Our children can count on us, our parents can rely on us.  But where do we go in all of this?  We are lost in the forest.  And that’s okay.  It’s just the season for that.  And the seasons change.  Before we know it, the leaves are different colors.  Each day, once again, is a bit different than the last.  People change their colors, too.  Some are yellow.  Afraid to age.  Afraid of teenagers.  Afraid of the dark.  Afraid of technology.  Afraid to try new things and still afraid of being left behind.  Some are red.  Angry that they are stiff in the mornings.  Angry that they can’t hear as well.  Angry that they are being phased out of work.  Some are orange.  Boldy, they greet each day.  Stiff joints mean they’ll try yoga.  Rising food prices mean they’ll plant a bigger garden.  The less time they are needed at work means the more time they can spend volunteering in their communities.  These different types of people are all around us, making the world a rather beautiful place.  Although we do all have our favorite colors.  Then, with a shift of the winds, things change again.  Leaves fall to the ground and trees stand stoically again, naked against the harsh winter but still very much alive.  People lose something, too.  Some lose their inhibitions and become those older people with no filters.  Sometimes these older folks are hilarious and other times quite difficult.  Some lose their spouses and their close friends.  This changes them.  Some lose their own good health.  They have to relearn how to do everyday tasks, or they need to adjust their diets.  But, everyone loses something.  And then it’s spring again…

That’s my ponderance for the day.  By the way, ponderance is not yet a word.  But, it should be.  Autocorrect is very frustrated with me right now though.  heehee.  I love this time of year.   I love the apples, the pumpkins, the crunchy leaves.  I love the anticipation of the holidays.  I love warm days and cool nights.  It’s really just all good.  If you have time, check out this blog…Smittenkitchen.com. and this one, too Andreabeamann.com.  This is the time of year that we head back indoors.  And, of course, to the warmth of our kitchens.  These ladies have fun recipes.  But, really, the pumpkin waffles on Smitten Kitchen are just about the most delicious things you’ll eat this season!

Just to make sure you start off your week with a smile~

Saying goodbye to summer...

Caught with my Top Down

As most of you know, I purchased a sweet little something this April, my sleek, middle-aged-crisis style convertible.  By that, I mean, it still can hold 4 passengers and a boat load of groceries…it is not a racy convertible.  My last blood work shows that it has helped increase my vit D.  yippee!  I found myself seeking out errands this summer just so I could hop into the car and play a favorite song or two.  You cannot drive a car with its top down, windows down, and not smile.  And smiling has been shown to boost your immune system.  So, therapeutically speaking, this was a good purchase!!!!   Oh, boy, am I skilled in rationalization, huh?

Lately, we have been experiencing daily bouts of “scattered showers”.  Also, the temperatures are dipping down.  My top-down days are numbered.  I am squeezing out as many as I can.  So, last week, I picked up Maria from school in my sleek little car.  Looking west, there were storm clouds.  ”Put that top up!” a teacher hollered at me.  ”No way!” I shouted back, grinning.  I was headed east, after all.  Then, about a tenth of a mile from home, the sky broke open.  Maria just looked at me as I grinned and kept on driving.  ”Really, mom?   It’s raining IN the car.  Really?  Please put the top up!”   Ooookkkk….I pulled to the side of the road and put the top up.  Later that week the same thing happened as I left the grocery store.  This time I could tell I was heading into the storm, but I really didn’t care.  My sis in law had told me that if you drive fast enough, the rain simply blows over you.  Sweet!  The rain fell and I sped up.  Oh no, red light!  A mild soaking…no matter, I speed up again when the light changes.   Sh$t, another red light!  Ok, top up….

Makes you think, though.  How many times have you been cruising along, enjoying everything and then BAM!  the storm hit?  Minding your own business, paying your bills, picking up your kids, and BAM you lose your job?  Pulling out of Starbucks, latte in hand, and BAM someone backs into you?  Living your life, having some fun and BAM you have cancer?  It happens to us all.  Well, not the cancer or job loss, but something goes BAM.  And we have to think about how we’ll handle it.  When it rains really hard, I have to get off the expressway because I honestly can’t see.  John drives faster so he can get through it more quickly.   Hmmm.   Maybe this is a personality trait.  Some of us want to wait until we can see things more clearly before we proceed. Some of us drive faster to get through it…figuring the rain will just blow over us.  Interesting…

I don’t know if one philosophy makes more sense than the other.  It seems to be that it is wise to be able to see the road ahead of you.  While driving.  But, metaphorically, we can never see the road ahead of us.   And how wonderful that some have the spirit, the confidence, the resolve, to speed ahead…fully believing that the rain will not soak them.  They may get sprayed, but they won’t get soaked through.  I am trying to learn this confidence.  I am trying to do things and realize that not every movement is related to cancer.  I am not dying tomorrow…from cancer, anyway.  So, if I drink too many cups of coffee or only walk 2 miles instead of 3, the earth will not quake.  But, also, I want to race ahead.  To believe there will always be a road in front of me.  To move on with confidence through any storm and know that I’ll be okay.  At least for today.

And, after you’ve been caught with your top down, not once…but twice, you realize that life is unpredictable.  Ok, you knew that.  But, how you react in that moment makes all the difference.  You may even begin to love the storms.  While you’re speeding ahead, though, take time for the people you care most about.  Sometimes we race too far too fast.  And, for Pete’s sake, and your own sake, take the time to eat real food.  You know what I mean.  If it comes out of a box, it isn’t real.  If you pulled up to a window and had it handed to you, it isn’t real.  The Italian in me says slow down and chew your food.  Enjoy!

This time feels like Godgone not Doggone

Dear God,

A couple of years ago you sent me a message that you’d be picking me up sooner than I expected.  I was so surprised to hear from you so directly.  I never expected to hear you through the voice of an oncologist.  But, I have to admit, you sent some warning signs first.  Warning signs that I had thought meant I was just beginning to age.  Even so, I was surprised.

You haven’t given me the exact date.  You know this is driving me mad, don’t you?  Don’t get me wrong…I am happy you didn’t need me immediately.  I am glad I have some amount of time here.  I like it here.  My family is here.  My friends are here.  My dog is here.  Well, you have one of my dogs.  I hope he’s not barking too much.  I wasn’t very good at training him!

So, I’m wondering…just what am I suppose to do with this “get out of life early” pass?  Some days I feel like this knowledge is a punishment.  A purgatory on earth.  Sure, I physically feel pretty good.  But, mentally, that’s another subject.  You’ve made it so that every day I wake up and wonder…what’s happening in this shell of mine?  Are things running along smoothly, or, unbeknownst to me, are tumors forming?  Are they?  Where?  Do I exercise enough?  Do I drink enough green tea?  What about carbs…can I eat them or not?  And, really, what am I suppose to DO?  Did I get a grace period because I still have things to learn…or because I still have things to teach?

You see, I am going mad.  And, while I never, ever, ever, wish this on anyone else…and I rarely ask “why me?”…I do wonder, “why anyone”.  Why do we have to suffer?  Almost every human being suffers before you take them.  What’s up with that?  I couldn’t sleep last night because my daughter was coughing.  Just a cough.  Just a cough and I couldn’t sleep because she’s mine and I don’t like it when she isn’t comfortable and happy.  So, what’s your story?  If I was made in your image and likeness, then aren’t you feeling pretty badly up there?  Sure you’ll end my suffering and everyone else’s…by taking us away.  Pretty lousy trick.

I’m not saying I don’t believe in you.  I believe.  It would be easier not to, honestly.  It is in believing that I feel betrayed.  That feeling of “what did I ever do to you to deserve this”.  Those are the “why me” days, I guess.  Well, I guess I’ll keep pushing on.  A religious person might tell me that this is just my cross to bear.  And, as Jesus had Simon, so I have my posse.  My load is lightened by their strength.

But, sometimes I feel so overwhelmed…so self-consumed…I wonder what I give back to this posse.  I wonder what I give back to anyone.  I really wonder what I am suppose to DO…For now, I guess I’ll walk the dog.  I’ll finish the laundry.  I’ll pick up my kids.  I’ll make dinner.  But I do expect to hear back from you.  And maybe my pick up date is negotiable, huh?  I’ve been trying to get ready to leave, but I just can’t seem to do it…So, let me stay longer.  I think you will.  And I’ll keep trying to figure things out.

Amen.

Not idle chatter

I have idols.  Just a few.  John is one of them.  It amazes me that I married this guy.  This full grown 6 year old.  He runs a multi-million dollar company but he loves to play four square in the driveway…or the street.  His plate is full all day at work with all sorts of frustrations, but they NEVER come home with him.  Mother Theresa is another idol.  I cannot fathom living in India.  I cannot fathom living in the streets.  It is beyond my wildest imagination to do both.  I understand the corporal works of mercy.  My favorite has always been “feed the hungry”, but hers was to “bury the dead”.  Well, she tried to care for the sick, but often the care became care for a body with no spirit left in it.  But, it was the final dignity that she cared about.  And the notion that perhaps she kept some diseases from spreading by removing bodies from the street.  I have never seen a body in the street, let alone dozens.  She amazed/amazes me.   Another hero I have is David Servan-Schreiber.  He is a very handsome Frenchman, a doctor, an author.  He helped to start up the Nobel Prize winning organization “Doctors without Borders”.  And he dared to live when other doctors told him he might not.  He dared to question research studies.  Not their validity…not because everything has to be “triple-blind”…but because research is only ultimately done on things that will bring a profit to someone.  No one really spends their life proving that broccoli or blueberries are quite powerful medicine.  Ya, the nutritionists and health magazines write a blip.  But, you NEVER see an ad that says, “Do you have cancer?  Ask your doctor about the benefit of eating broccoli.  If you combine it with tomatoes…wow, it sure is powerful”.  Who would pay for the ad?  Oh ya, those broccoli farmers are rolling in the big bucks.  I laugh when I look at, say, an overactive bladder ad.  The disclaimers/side effects are TWO pages long.  What would it be for broccoli?  One line…”May cause gas until your system adjusts to a serving or two per day”.  So, along comes this French guy.  He’s a neuroscientist.  While conducting a study, he finds his own brain tumor.  Imagine!  He undergoes treatment, seems cured, life goes on.  It comes back.  Now he’s pissed.  But, this motivates him to complement his cancer treatment.  He chooses to also eat really good food.  Not Julia Child style French fare..stuff that could grow in our gardens (if we planted it!).  And he lives a good long time.  Dr. David lived 20 years past his initial diagnosis.  I wish he died of malaria saving little children.  I wish he died white water rafting down some awesome river.  But, alas, his cancer metastasized and that killed him.  Just last week.  50 years old.  It seems to me that he had so much left to give us all.  So much more research in his field.  So much more hope for those of us seeking wellness despite stupid cancer.  But, he’s gone from us.  I never knew him, but I miss him.  The whole idea of him.  He was undaunted by his cancer.  He carried on in a very zealous way.  He lived an engaging life.

Shit, all I did today was laundry.  Oh, and I made some home made pizza and visited the farmer’s market.  I drove my kids around and went to exercise.  Now, I’ll shower and go buy groceries.  No Nobel Prize material there.  But, my heros are with me…I even get to live with one!  And maybe tomorrow I’ll save the world.

The Natural Cure for Hot Flashes

Since June of 2009, I’ve been dealing with the after effects of instant menopause.  Let me tell you, it is one hot place to be!  Right, I don’t mean sexy hot, I mean literally hot.  Sip coffee, instant sweat.  Pull up the down comfortable,  a pool forms under my back.  Snuggle with the furry dog, sweat beads form in the inside elbow.  Get the picture?  I am HOT!

Well, fast forward to April of 2011, and I’ve had enough.  My van turned over 120,000 miles.  I have been driving vans for 18 years now…and I had a station wagon 2 years before a van.   I had decidedly un-hot wheels for 20 years.  Time to move along…  With John’s blessing, I have purchased my little dream car.  A sleak ol’ black Solara named Connie.  Who names their cars?   Crazy, middle aged HOT women!!!

Call me now whenever you need a ride.  I have Hot Wheels…they aren’t just for little boys anymore.  Somehow, you just can’t help smiling when you ride with your top off!